Beating the New Year’s Resolution Fail

Photo: Red Bull 400

What is a new year’s resolution anyway?

A new year’s resolution is a firm decision to do or not to do something. They are fixed objectives usually relating to a behaviour we want to change, so we set the resolution at the turn of the calendar year knowing we will definitely achieve it.

Ever set a new year’s resolution before?

How did that work out for you? 

Almost everyone has tried a new year’s resolution. Whether it was a written note on the fridge, kept in a notebook somewhere, on your vision board, or just kept in mind, we’ve all tried, and most times, failed. 

So, why don’t new year’s resolutions work? 

Fear, regret, and guilt. 

It’s not overly complicated; grounding our desired behavioural change in the negative doesn’t enhance motivation. Most new year’s resolutions are the result of wanting to move away from a certain type of behaviour. They’re usually about things we want to give up: lose weight, stop drinking (or stop drinking as much), stop smoking, eat less fast food, watch less tv, stop fighting with your spouse, take a social media break, stop overspending… the list goes on. 

In addition to the fact we’re grounding our desired change in guilt, fear, and negativity, we often try to do too much or don’t think about how much effort, motivation, and willpower are required to achieve the change. We might also run out of steam in the first couple of months if we don’t feel an instant win and the gratification that goes along with it—and this is true, even if you know it takes an average of 66 days to form a new habit.  

How do you win?

You can combat the “resolution fail” by reframing the negative to align with positive intention. As in, you can take, “I want to lose x number of pounds this year,” and turn it into, “I want to exercise regularly, eat a healthy diet, and feel great about my health.” Moving towards better health and wellbeing is a lot easier than moving towards, “I want to lose weight.”

All that said, the overarching reason resolutions fail is by design. A resolution is a firm decision with a fixed result—either you win or you lose. With resolutions, you will succeed or fail and when you fail, it’s over. 

What does work? 

Instead of resolutions, choose goals aligned with true intentions.

You can experience a setback on your way to achieving a goal but it’s not a definitive failure or a reason to stop. A step backward is still a step forward if you never stop working towards your goals. 

Did you get that?

A step backward is still a step forward if you never stop working toward your goals. It’s just the next step you need to take.

It may be counterintuitive or against what we’ve been taught, but the times we fail are actually opportunities to identify and fill skill gaps. Depending on how you look at it, the failure can be an opportunity to level up your abilities, to acquire resources, to learn, or to change your strategy and do what it takes to get from point A to point B. 

It just depends on how you look at it.

Obstacles are opportunities in disguise, and failure is necessary for progress. In fact, failure is an essential part of the progress process. Sometimes you take one step forward then two steps back before you can take massive action and make massive progress. To achieve anything awesome in life, effort and strain are part of the process.

Think about all the great athletes in this world. They push to the point of failure in practically every training session. Successful entrepreneurs are prime examples of people who know how to turn obstacles into growth opportunities. Overnight success stories that take ten years are full of setbacks, ordeals, and difficulties.

Let’s destigmatize failure and talk about what it means to Fail Forward. 

Don’t fear failure, fail forward.

Failing forward is the idea we can all learn from our mistakes and errors, and generate forward momentum in the process. It involves a perspective shift where setbacks become necessary for progress. We’re destigmatizing the idea failure is a bad thing. It’s the realization that, without challenges, we will never identify areas for our own improvement. 

Failing forward requires one thing: you must focus on your vision—or in other words, your long-term goals. (Aka. the underlying reason you set your new year’s resolution in the first place.)

Your vision for what you want to achieve or the person you want to become is your guiding light. It helps keep you motivated and disciplined, which is important because when failure strikes it probably won’t feel good. We are emotional beings, and failing can feel threatening, aggravating, or even depressing. There’s a sense of loss, and since we seek instant gratification, the failure causes a loss of self-confidence and momentum.

Staying focused on the vision is the secret weapon that sets the great achievers apart and helps them get unstuck. If you experience failure, come back to your vision. Remind yourself why you started and keep going.

What HAPPENS WHEN ‘failure is not an option’?

It’s called, failing mindfully.

There are situations where failure is not an option—which is a good motivator under the right circumstances. For instance, if you underperform in business and the business fails, there are people’s livelihoods at stake. At times like this, you need to be aware of what will happen if you aren’t successful. It can help you find the courage to do whatever it takes to succeed because there is a social impact.

Being mindful of the consequences or the impact of the failure is critical. However, when it comes to goals regarding behaviour change (like resolutions), a setback is not a reason to stop working toward your goal. 

Align with your true intentions

To improve your chances of success, connect your new year’s goals (aka resolutions) with your true intentions for who you want to become or what you want to achieve. The further ahead you look, the better. If you want to be an early-riser and maintain an active lifestyle with morning workouts in 10 years (because it might set a good example for your kids, it’s in line with your health goals, or it’s an incremental way to help you achieve your athletic goals), staying focused on the goal makes it a lot easier to drag yourself out of bed and start forming the new habit in the first few months of 2022. 

So, stay focused on your vision and stay disciplined. At the end of the day, discipline always trumps motivation because motivation is fickle, it comes and goes. Discipline is consistent, and being disciplined is a lot easier when you focus on goals in line with true intentions. 

Thanks for reading and I hope this helps you get the most out of your 2022 and beyond. 

Gratefully,

Mike Shaw